Transformational Thought for July 6 2011
Mission, Vision, & Passions on this Journey Called Life
It has been some time since my last post, I deeply regret that. I must confess that I have had a bit of writers block, or should I say I have been looking for a writing path that will offer some value to you the reader. You have a lot of options out there and I don’t want to waste your time. I would hope that in some small way what I write will be reflected upon, and bring value to your life.
I have two passions in this life. First, is to see us live a life of true self-healing and not be controlled by the giant medical establishment that says we must take this pill or that pill only to mask what is really going on inside us. After spending 30 years inside the medical machine, I now know that we have been programmed to believe that we need X,Y,Z in order to feel better and heal. This is plain and simply not true. Now that modern science can measure and study everything from the genome to consciousness, I think it is high time to use those finding to shift the way we see ourselves and how we truly are capable of healing ourselves, without all the drugs and surgeries. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not saying we don’t need acute treatment like ERs and ORs for emergencies, but if we would begin to live lives of health and wellness from birth, I believe we can shift the belief that this little blue pill will cure us!
My second passion is also intertwined into my professional life, but is being slowly connected to my personal life. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I am not alone when I say that most of us have two lives. The life of your private self and the life of your public self, interestingly enough, living two lives can truly be challenging. So let me ask you which of those lives is the real you! Aw! You don’t know which one is real. You have been living this way for so long you have no idea which one is real. I came to this realization about 6-8 months ago, that I have been living a lie. I had finally hit a point of diminished return. I could no longer manage either, then it hit me. Why not live in full transparency, you know like bring the personal secret life and combining it with the public life that image that you project outside of yourself.
This really hit home last night, while speaking with a close friend. She had asked me a very powerful question! I paused for a moment with trepidation, then I realize I had an opportunity to be transparent and live in both my lives at the same time. Let me set the stage for you. This friend is in her mid 40’s, single, and has been very cautious over the last several years with her desire to be involved in a loving relationship. This was a self-imposed healing, for she had been deeply hurt in the past and felt it necessary to remove herself from those dating environments. So now she is back to feeling as though she is ready to find another soul mate and she asked me a very powerful, yet painful question. “Why do men lie?”
I have to say I was struck speechless for a moment. Those that know me would find that hard to believe, Jed speechless NOT! But this was critical at this juncture in both of our lives, hers the point of trust, and mind the point of transparency. My response was this, remember I have shifted my consciousness about living a life of transparency, I said I have no idea why they would lie it will only come back to haunt them later. Then it dawned on me, all my early programming came back to me! It was about control, about ego, especially about self-esteem. We cannot let this beautiful young lady think I am not altogether. I cannot let her know I have some flaws. I cannot let her know that I am vulnerable in this area or that. She needs to know that I am strong and capable, and oh I really want sex so I will do whatever it takes to move this in that direction.
Well gentlemen, I am going to move this discussion so that you may understand. That process you have been living is bull. It is a lie, everyone knows it is a lie, and furthermore do you believe for a moment, that the young ladies you are pursuing are stupid! Dude if you want what you are after, just ask! We really aren’t that much different. There are some soft differences, but for the most part, we each are looking for companionship, belonging, love, conversation, and yes sex. But please please don’t make that the end goal, and for goodness sakes freeken ask, you will be surprised what the answer may be. Look, we are both seeking very similar ideas and concepts on this journey, like love companionship, conversation, safety, security, healthy relationships, by God you don’t need to lie to get it.
So gets, this leaves me with my close. I would like to invite you to join a conversation that two of my colleagues and I have started. This conversation is the brain trust of a Spiritual Teacher by the name of Josh Dunn. Josh has been on this journey for some time now and has offered a forum for men to speak their truths and speak from their authentic self. And if you are just now awakening from your slumber and are not sure what that authentic self is, come join the conversation and let us help you find that. Check us out on facebook at the Beyond Survival Group: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_170213236375187&ap=1
Here is to you and your journey!
In Spirit
Jed A. Reay
Comments (2)
“Look, we are both seeking very similar ideas and concepts on this journey, like love companionship, conversation, safety, security, healthy relationships, by God you don’t need to lie to get it.”
Love it Jed. I’ve found in the last few years that the more straight I am about what I REALLY want, the more likely I am to find someone who wants that too. Go figure huh?
And thanks for the generous mention!
As a spiritual counsellor, life coach and teacher I have often seen this form of protection that you speak of with regards living two parts of a life rather than one whole. I believe it to be a defence mechanism created from fear. People create a persona and hide the other because they are afraid to show who they are. Being vulnerable feels risky in the world of shallow connections. It is difficult for them to trust and to have the faith that they will be accepted. Acceptance is of pivotal importance to most humans for they are always searching to belong. Yet many struggle their entire lives and end up walking through their experience here feeling alone. All too often the end result is the formation of dis-ease. However, being who we are in truth and freeing ourselves of boxes that hold self-imposed limitations creates a harmony within that soon develops into a healthy balance in which we can blossom and grow safely in the love of ourselves and knowing that it is the best choice to be open and whole.
To that end, it would seem a natural choice to participate in retreats and/or groups that can facilitate that change. Indeed, that is what I see as the intent of the group you are part of, Jed. It feels like a place is being created where men can be who they truly are without fear of judgment and can develop their true selves into the awakened life awaiting them. While this group is directed towards men, as you pointed out Jed, “we are not all that different.” In fact, I would suggest that we are not different at all in our true state but have been programmed to believe that we are worlds apart. I believe that both genders have been shaped by the use of labels and coercion until they believed the false propagation. The result for men is that they have been taught to harden their shell and build sturdy walls. By programming, which starts very young, they learn to keep all softer emotions buried while allowing the more aggressive emotions to dominate their world. The impact is that men develop dis-ease that is connected to not being their authentic self. Is it reversible? Of course! And what Beyond Survival is providing is a gateway that will afford opportunities for that to occur.